You and Me

Words can’t begin to explain you

My need for love has been fulfilled

Your amazing, in my eye anyway

I know you’ve done some not so positive things

I have done some of the same

But in some way shape o form, we both try to mange

I love you whole heartedly and I respect you as my man

It strikes me as funny when I say im spoken for my a male

My feelings would be the same if you were a women and me the man

I feel for you baby, not your gender

I know that lesbian was previously the title but that gone out the window

Something’s are meant to be changed, but my heart’s spot for you is the same

You got me now, and you say you’re here for the long haul

I hope for both our sake, our you and me is a reality

Mind Don't Fool U

So I got my feelings hurt again. I tried to step outside the box and meet someone new. But with this venture, all I have is new hurt. I know u lying to me. Shit I even know what about. But what I don't know is why? What is the reason for lying? Who am I to lie to? I just got in the picture. You can be real with me. It sucks to be an honest and loyal person. I told u the deal from the jump. But why do I have to be in the dark about so much? Is their a feeling of obligation? If so, let me help you remedy that feeling. I’m looking for what I guess only one person can give, and im guessing I haven't met the person yet. Or maybe I have. Maybe I have the person under my nose but I just don't know yet. But what makes me sad is the fact that for a minute, I thought it would be you. I thought with u I would have what I want and what im looking for. How could u talk so much game about what u need and want but u can't even return the favor. For your sake I hope that you can survive what ever consequences follow the possible lies that you have told. The good people will almost always get dealt the bullshit hand. Have I done that much to deserve so much heart break, hurt and pain? I can think of many things that I have done wrong in the almost 23 years I have been blessed with life. But in those same years, the good I have done, outweighs the bad 100 times over. So I pose a simple question to myself, which holds a not so simple answer..... Now what? What is there for me to do now? What is the point of it all? If I have to be perfect to be wanted, what is perfect? I can't understand my life and the things in it. So I think I will just stop trying. I will just do for me and stay to myself. And I am gonna be lonely, but what can I do? Not one person can understand me but me. Sad but true. What if im just tripping though..... I wish I was but yeah, ya mind might feel like it’s gone, but the shit don't fool you........

Thought, Memory, Wish, Hope, Dream

So I thought about us today

Not just a passing thought, it was a future memory

Whatever it was about, I couldn’t say I remember.

But I do know u were all in it

Maybe it wasn’t a memory, could be a wish

It could be what will happen, or maybe it was a wish

Yes that’s it, a wish, a hope, or no a dream

A dream of a happy future for me, no for us

I want u to be the E 4 me in WE

I want you to complete me

I want to be the one that gives you the missing puzzle piece

I wanna be your rock

Your muse for you music, the center of your artistic vision

Your thought, your memory, your wish, no your hope, or your dream....Everything

1(you)x2(us)=Everything

So I can see you

But when can I be with you?

I see us

I see we

In a sense

I smell you

Just to touch you

If in the mist of passion

I would like to taste you

For one time

To have you near

I have to just hope to

I have a heart

But it belongs to you

I’m brave

But it’s fueled by protection from you

For what?

Why do I depend on you?

I am puzzled by emotions that I give off to you

If it isn’t you for me then who?

I take my time and think of for a few

But you are who I come back to

Why and who are you?

Could you be what I want you to?

No, but it’s so hard for you

Love is not a battle

But I fight for you

And im the victor after cause you’re here with me

But when you leave my heart is beside you

Which means to the world im heartless because of you

Do you even know what you are to me?

Congratulations baby

Because you are some TWO’s EVERYTHING

Trying to understand..i can't

You know, it’s funny how shit happens. Your in the moment, it’s a situation happening, someone makes you feel needed, you address the issue, have it taken care of and then for what? My mind, while racing and slightly irritated, Im still not moved. See I have heard of situations and domestic violence issues, but me myself through the grace of god has never had to experience this first hand. I feel so stupid in a sense, and also torn between two feelings. I want to close the door on a friend but I can’t. But there is nothing more that I want to do at this point. I wanna say fuck it you dumb bitch, but I can’t. I wanna say your better then this, but I wont. I wanna say there is someone else out there for you, but I refuse to do so. Yet you pride ur self on saying that I am your friend and you put me above others but then u don’t do that. Now im not asking you to do as I say at all times, but I am saying look in the mirror, look at the deep gash in you neck that was infected. Look at your arms, and all the marks that are slowly fading away. Look in you bathroom of your new apartment, the flower pot that was the color scheme for it, broken out of rage. Who are you? You’re not the smart person I cherish as a friend. You’re not tough, you’re little. Your small, your nothing. While to me your everything, but to her, a punching bag. I love you dearly but I just can’t fathom what you could possibly gain from an abusive relationship.

All Eyes On You

Ok, so I read this book about a week ago called Going Broke. It’s By: Trista Russell. Part of it stood out to me because of the semi relationship that I take part in. The main character Sarai turned a guy down when he tried to talk to her because he didn’t have a business card. Then when she had a change of heart and tried to talk to her, he turned her down. Now dude does poetry, and she was at a poetry club where he preformed and dude did a poem called “Business Card”. It was all about Sarai. Now after dude read the poem, Sarai felt like everybody in the room knew that the poem was about her. Now why can I relate to this? Because I change my mood and status on Myspace quite often. And a lot of the times I am either going through changes with my ex or happy about my ex….its usually about my ex, follow me??? Any who, my ex gets extremely upset everytime she reads my status. And its like wow, no one knows it’s about you. But it’s weird. It’s like the guilt is so overwhelming. It’s kinda crazy because if you have some much guilt about what you’re doing, then way do it? And now back to the book, when the poem was over and Sarai met up with dude and actually had a convo with him, she was feeling him and gave him a chance. Now my ex knows what I am about and also knows that I will never do anything hurtful on purpose. So why not give me a chance to prove myself as someone who can and will make you happy??? Idk….. Done

Venting

So um, let’s see…. My life, yet as imperfect as it is, its mine. I don’t wish to be something or someone im not. I love me, I may not show it to myself enough but I do. I love the women that I have become, despite all of the mistakes that I have made or will make in the future. Now as far as me “wanting to be like SOMEONE”…… negative. I wouldn’t want to walk in your shoes for the life of me, though I wish my feet were your size so I could get all my shoes in kids sizes……lol. But other then that naw boo, I could never nor would I EVER wanna be you. What makes this blog different from yours is it aint gonna be disrespectful (well not toward you), it’s tasteful like myself. Im not gonna say “bitches this or bitches that” naw im gonna say Tiffani. It’s just you, no one else. And myspace boo? You gotta be kidding me, my status from the other day wasn’t even about you. And truthfully whatever disaggrement that we have is between us…. Dana honey, according to you im quote “single, fat and ugly”. That may be true in your eyes, but I know a few others that feel just a tad bit different. Now be clear sweetness, I don’t give a fuck about you. I don’t say shit to you and I don’t think about you. So I assume you wanna slide me because me and your girlfriend had a “disagreement” that she choose to blow completely out of proportion. Again, that has nothing to do with you. Dana, that’s one other thing that you don’t know about your girlfriend. Everytime she gets a girlfriend, she cuts me off or we start beefing. Don’t ask me why she does it but she does. And I don’t see it as a big deal. So all this tick for tat shit is completely played. Whenever Tiffani gets out of her feelings, im sure she will call or text me. Or I will probably be the one to do the calling or texting, not a problem. Tiffani, for real honey look at the big picture. You think im jealous of you? I don’t even roll like you man, that aint even my nature. Im not a jealous person at all boops. For what exactly? Because you have a girlfriend and I don’t? Because you lost weight and I didn’t? What else do you think it is boo? Tell me because I would love to know. I thought you knew me better then that but I guess not. You can hop on here and be fake to these people that don’t know shit about you but not me. So….. With that being said folk’s im out.

Because when the truth sets you free.....

I made the mistake i never thought i would make

I hold myself to high standards, this cant happen to me

Things that go unspoken haven't happened right?

If this just stays with me, I'm good

Who am i kidding, not even myself

I, to think this hasn't happened, but it has

In the event that i gain enough strength to be a women about it

I can only wonder what will become of us

Needless to say, i will never have another mishap like this

My conscience can't stand another rift as terrible as this one

Sadly to say, because I am human, we do make mistakes

I only can hope that i can recover from this one

Because when the truth sets you free, it usually beats that crap out of somebody else...