Mind Don't Fool U

So I got my feelings hurt again. I tried to step outside the box and meet someone new. But with this venture, all I have is new hurt. I know u lying to me. Shit I even know what about. But what I don't know is why? What is the reason for lying? Who am I to lie to? I just got in the picture. You can be real with me. It sucks to be an honest and loyal person. I told u the deal from the jump. But why do I have to be in the dark about so much? Is their a feeling of obligation? If so, let me help you remedy that feeling. I’m looking for what I guess only one person can give, and im guessing I haven't met the person yet. Or maybe I have. Maybe I have the person under my nose but I just don't know yet. But what makes me sad is the fact that for a minute, I thought it would be you. I thought with u I would have what I want and what im looking for. How could u talk so much game about what u need and want but u can't even return the favor. For your sake I hope that you can survive what ever consequences follow the possible lies that you have told. The good people will almost always get dealt the bullshit hand. Have I done that much to deserve so much heart break, hurt and pain? I can think of many things that I have done wrong in the almost 23 years I have been blessed with life. But in those same years, the good I have done, outweighs the bad 100 times over. So I pose a simple question to myself, which holds a not so simple answer..... Now what? What is there for me to do now? What is the point of it all? If I have to be perfect to be wanted, what is perfect? I can't understand my life and the things in it. So I think I will just stop trying. I will just do for me and stay to myself. And I am gonna be lonely, but what can I do? Not one person can understand me but me. Sad but true. What if im just tripping though..... I wish I was but yeah, ya mind might feel like it’s gone, but the shit don't fool you........